


A Promise I Couldn't Keep

by keepongaming



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 13:28:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepongaming/pseuds/keepongaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I recently posted a gif/photo set of the story line and would urge you to look at it before continuing this story!<br/>http://keepongaming.tumblr.com/post/67304163851/there-are-many-horrors-i-should-dream-of</p><p>This is a freestyle poem I wrote that relates to Cas' perspective. I know many people aren't into first person but it's not long so I'd love to hear feedback!</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Promise I Couldn't Keep

There are many horrors I should dream of. Countless nightmares should fill my head reaching from the far ends of hell and back. Things I have done- things I have witnessed should run ramped through my subconscious mind allowing only sleepless nights. But even so, these dreams never occurred.

In the past, lush, green eyes followed me throughout my nights. Every flick these eyes sent reminded me that I have a heart. Reminded me as it swelled and thumped loudly in my chest that- I can feel. Eyes that said, “ _Don’t ever change_ ” and that made me want to reply, “ _Never_ ”.

But just as quick as it had begun, my two worlds seem to melt before my very eyes, becoming a distorted version of each other. Temptation cut through the glimmering green like diamonds on glass so that ungodly acts were effortlessly committed. Knives fit comfortably in the backs of those I once held closest to my heart, and the blood that leaked from them seeped into my clothes; my thoughts- my actions. The deeper I dug, the easier it was to wear the blood soaked rags with comfort. The feeling shifted from being unbearably gruesome to hypnotically beautiful, quickly stupefying me with what seemed like the snap of my fingers. The feeling was overwhelmingly intoxicating- exhilarating. So my legs carried me unwillingly, toward these demented thoughts, in search to get higher.

I have seen earth’s creation, the growth of humanity, I have witnessed every type of love there ever was from Romeo and Juliet to Wilson and Chuck; but these eyes- these eyes that used to fill my subconscious mind with warmth and affection now haunt every dream I conceive.

Through closed eyelids and patches of pure black, clear memories flash. Images of natural, brilliant, warm eyes warp and soon they hold an undeniable look of doubt and disappointment that floods every crevice that I obtain. I lost myself along the way. Something I promised you I wouldn’t do. Knowing that I have caused the pain that swirls beneath the iris has destroyed me because even as I stand before you, looking at the smile on your face— I feel guilt. A tremendous amount of shame that fills me to the tip and threatens to spill over. _Never again_ , I tell myself through gritted teeth, _never again_.


End file.
